How to Avoid Being Manipulated
When was the last time you were really angry? I mean on the edge of exploding, hair standing on end, seeing-red kind of angry? Our family went to Phoenix this week to visit our oldest son who is in college there. Driving in mega-city traffic reminded me of the last time I was lose-your-mind angry. I was driving in heavy traffic back home and someone cut me off. Afterwards I had to ask myself, ‘Why?’ Why did that person cutting me off stir up so much anger? I allowed someone I’ve never met (I hope) and will probably never see again (maybe?) to ruin my otherwise pleasant afternoon drive. What was going on in my heart that I went so quickly from zero to sixty on the anger scale?
I’ve been reading Tim & Kathy Keller’s devotional book on Proverbs, which I recommend to everyone, especially since we’re teaching through Proverbs on Sunday mornings. In it he gives his definition of anger: “Anger is energy released to defend something you love.” He also says “but the problem with human anger is we tend to overlove the wrong things.” What wrong love was my anger in traffic defending? Here are some options: My pride, my lack of self-control to drive in a way that’s not hurried or rude, or my demanding tendency to not ever be bothered. Which was it? Probably a mix of all and maybe a few more. It’s embarrassing to admit these things, but it’s important to do so if I want to get better. One fruit of the Spirit of the Christian is self-control, and that includes controlling our ungodly anger.
I heard a podcast interview recently with a former spy who said (I’m paraphrasing), “The people who can’t control their emotions are the easiest to manipulate.” That’s true of the spy world (when they are looking for people to use for information), and I imagine that the Christians who lack self-control are the ones who are most easily manipulated by “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life” (1 John 2:16). I want our church to build up our defenses against those temptations and attacks, and one way to do that is to work on our anger.
A great verse to memorize in the coming months is Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” The next time you feel anger rising up in you, ask yourself, “What ‘love’ am I trying to defend right now?” And then ask, “How can I turn away wrath with gentleness and patience right now?”
Colby walked us through Proverbs 3 last Sunday, highlighting one of the most memorable sections of Proverbs (3:5-6). This week you can read ahead for our look at Proverbs 4. As we study Proverbs, I pray Valley View is known as a church that is self-controlled, patient, and kind. May our attitudes and actions open doors to the Gospel all over the South End of Louisville!
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash