Good morning. In just a little over a week, the event that we’ve all been waiting for is about to happen. That’s right. The first day of school. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. So get in with the kids. Jingle belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer. So when I was a middle school principal, I would play this over the intercom. The first day of school, right before the kids walked in. The teachers did not find this nearly as hilarious as I did. but today we’re going to finish up our series on Grow. And I found it a little bit ironic that this series on grow, we’re affectionately calling it “Bald Preacher Month” because Colby, Andrew and myself have trouble growing hair, but we are talking about growing as believers. Today I’m going to talk with you about, going to drop into my comfort zone a little bit as a school administrator. And we’re going to talk about this very special day that’s about to happen that really affects everybody in here, whether you have children or not. You’re certainly affected by the traffic that is associated with the public school system, school busses, travel to school and all of that. Before I get into that, I just wanted to acknowledge that Pastor John had asked me about, oh, three years ago, I think it was his first summer if I would be interested in speaking on a Sunday morning. I had led Vacation Bible School from up here. I had the privilege of, leading from up here that week. It’s something I did not want to do, but I didn’t have a good excuse not to do it. So I did it, and I really had a good time with it. It was a lot of fun. John saw me do that and said, hey, would you be interested in speaking on a Sunday morning and like a, like a, you know, good church attender, elder, I said, no way. Absolutely not. But he planted that seed and he brought it up a couple times, and I changed the subject and said, no, I don’t want to do that. But then something happened. So one Sunday morning, I’m down here like you all see me sometimes receiving people for prayer. And on that Sunday morning, I did not walk directly to my seat for, I walked out that back door and I was coming around because I wanted to see somebody that was out in the hallway. So I spoke with them, and as I came across the hallway there, I ran into my friend Sue Garrett, and she was in the back and she was speaking with, David Harrison, I believe. And she stopped me just and said, Troy, how come the elders never speak on Sunday morning? Isn’t that the job of an elder? One of the roles that an elder should have and it was like God spoke through Sue that day and said, Troy, you need to quit avoiding it and you need to do it. So I really appreciate that. So that’s kind of what led me here this Sunday morning. So having said that, if you have any complaints after today, please direct them to Pastor John or Sue Garrett. So my overall theme for today is going to be children school, that sort of thing. But I’m going to ask you to participate a little bit because I’m an educator by trade. So like any good educator, I’m going to ask you to participate a little bit. I’m going to ask you to participate later by raising your hand a couple times when I ask you something, but also to verbally interact a little bit, not only with me, but also with the people around you. So let’s practice here. First of all, if you are here today, if you are in the room, raise your hand. See? Harmless. Now, some of you didn’t raise your hand, and I’m a little worried about you, but stick with me, okay? It’s okay. It’s okay to raise your hand in church. So one more way to practice. If you are ready to begin. Look at your neighbor and say, all right, I’m ready. Very good. All right. See? You’re good to go. Let’s do this. Proverbs chapter 22, verse six says this. Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. If you’re a grandparent, a parent, a great grandparent, if you’re a teacher, a life group leader, a neighbor, if you know a child, this message is for you today. Children are a precious gift from God, and it’s our responsibility to be good stewards of these gifts. Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb a reward. So it’s interesting. I don’t see in Scripture anything that says things like let your children run your household. I don’t see anything in Scripture that says let them determine their own truths and realities. I don’t see anything that says let them discover their own truths. In fact, we see quite the opposite. And that’s what we’re going to see today in Scripture. We need to guide our children to become the young men and women that God has created them to be. So today I’m going to teach you, speak to you about three things that are going to help us do that as we head into this new school year. This is a pivotal moment in your year. School is about to start. If you know children, they’re about to enter into school in some way. Public school. Private school. Homeschool. They’re about to enter into school. What is our role in that? How can we help them be successful? The first thing you need to do as we head into this new school year is to attend. So if you’ve if you’re involved, if you’ve ever had kids in school, if you watch the news once in a while, attendance is the most one of the most important things. Right? And it makes sense. You can’t learn if you’re not in the school building. So it’s important for your kids to be in school every single day that they’re not sick, but they’re supposed to be there. But I’m referring to attendance for us in a little different context, and it’s going to be a little bit, direct. Bring your kids to church and don’t just drop them off at the door and go hang out at the coffee shop. Okay? We have stuff for you here, too. But bring your kids to church, your children. Your family needs to be in church. Hebrews chapter ten, verse 24. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another all the more as you see the day drawing near. Valley View has a vibrant, tremendous student and children ministry. We always have. People have historically come to Valley View and stayed here because of that very reason, including my family. We came here when I was 12. My father, my mother brought us here when I was 12 years old. So that was about ten years ago. Brought us here when I was 12 years old for that very reason. And we’ve stayed whenever the doors were open. I was here, children of every age need consistent exposure to the truth of Scripture and the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. So my father once told me it was years after we had started coming here. I was probably an adult by then, but he mentioned to me one time that the first day we visited Valley View, we sat in the balcony and, on the way home, I was in the back seat and under my breath I was just sitting back there, looking out the window, but I was sort of quietly singing one of the songs that we had sung here that morning. And my father said he knew at that moment we were going to join Valley View, because just that brief moment that. That we were here that day made such an impact that I remembered a song I had never heard before, but it had such rich truth in it that he wanted our family to be here. And we we have been here ever since. sometimes reluctantly as a kid. But anytime the doors were open, I was here. That’s the back when we had a full Sunday morning service, a full Sunday night service, a full Wednesday service, any time there was a revival, anytime the doors were open, we were here because that’s how important that that’s how important it was to my father and my mother for us to attend church. I encourage you to do the same thing. Keep this in mind, too. Whether your kids go to public school, private school or even home school, they are and will be exposed to information and images that will create confusion for them about themselves as they struggle throughout this world. They are looking for answers about their identities as humans that we, as their parents, never had to deal with. Kids deal with stuff. You all. We have no idea. We didn’t have to deal with it. They deal with stuff we don’t even understand. They need help. They need each other. They need to. They need to be in church to hear what the truth of the gospel is. So what is it that God wants our children to know about themselves? Let’s see first Peter two nine, but you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Psalm 139. They are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139 again, all the days or ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Jeremiah one five. Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart. I’ll continue. Jeremiah 29 says, for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. John 10:10 says, I have come that you might have life, and that you might have life more abundantly. John 16 says, in this world you will have trouble, but I give you peace. Joshua one nine. My favorite verse. One of them says, be strong and courageous. Fear not, for the Lord your God is with you. We even sing a song once in a while that says, I am chosen, not forsaken. And I am who you say I am. You are for me, not against me. That’s what your kids need to hear about. They need. And the only way they’re going to do that is if they’re here. You got to get them in church, bring them on Sunday morning, bring them on Wednesday evening. You stay too because there’s stuff for you too. But get your kids in church. We’ve got great staff, great people leading. Get them here so we can sing and read and soak in all these promises that are in Scripture that God has for us. Our kids need to hear, sing, and be taught these lessons. Make attending church a priority to your family. That’s one. That’s one aspect of attend. The other attend is be present with your family. Bring them to church, but also be there. Your kids cannot experience all of the wisdom that you have for them if you’re not with them. If you’re not with them and spending time with them, make sure you’re spending time with your kids. So thinking about school school is important. Be a part of it. Help your kids with their homework. Volunteer at their school. If they’re involved in athletics, go to them. Our kids were cross country and track and field athletes. I was always impressed by the number of parents that were not there for the other kids, like you would look across and like there’s not very many parents here. It’s like you’re you’re your child is running, they’re throwing, they’re catching. They’re out here having fun. Why aren’t you here watching them? Be here. Be present. If they’re involved in a activity, go to that. Cheer them on. Encourage them, pick them up, drive them places. Take advantage of that. And I’m going to throw a radical idea at you all. What if instead of your child riding the bus, you took him to school? Hold on, don’t throw things at me yet. Sometimes we can’t do that. I got a job. I have a job. There are, I have work, my family has work. Life circumstances dictate that our student needs to ride that bus to school. Absolutely. Definitely. But I also know that there are people because I’m in the business that just don’t. Because it’s easier just to put the child on the bus, which you’re totally allowed to do. That’s why it’s there. But what if if your life allowed you to do it, you took that opportunity to take your child to school? That’s like a 20 minute drive back and forth to school every day. How awesome is that? That’s 20 minutes where you have a captive audience. Think of how much you can do, how much, how much you can speak into their life, spend time with them. Pray with them. You can’t do that on a school bus. Just something to throw out there. Maybe if it’s possible that your life allows you to do that, maybe that’s a little shift you can make in your life and schedule to create some time. The point is, intentionally look for ways to spend time with your kids. They need us because sooner than you think, they’ll be out of your house. I have a 23 year old and I have a 21 year old. They’re right there on the front row. And just yesterday they were ten and eight. And I’ve got a picture. Should have a picture. There they are. That’s them walking out of Valley View one day when they were children. That’s how I, that’s that’s how I think of them, by the way, I don’t care how old they are now, what they’re doing. That’s that’s the image that I have in my head of how old they actually are. One day your your kids will be cute and helping each other and the next day they’ll be 23 and 21. Take advantage of every opportunity you have to spend time with your kids. So my first point was what? Attend. Second point, protect. Ephesians chapter six. Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Okay, so here’s a little bit of participation as promised. If any–okay, this is for everyone. If you have a social media account, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, raise your hand. It’s okay. I got my hand raised. It’s okay if you do. Okay, put your hand down. Okay, now, if you are a student, elementary, middle, high school and I’m going to expand it to college age. And you have a social media account or you have one of these creatures living in your house that has a social media account. Raise your hand. Again, a lot of hands, a lot of hands. It’s okay. Now. Thank you. I’m going to tell you something that’s that you may not know, but it’s absolutely true. This is a true statement. If you if you sign up for Facebook, Snapchat or Instagram, you have to click on a little box that says, I agree to the terms of service and who knows what that says. Nobody knows because nobody reads that, right. They can say anything. You’re just like, yeah, I want the account, whatever. I agree to it. But if you open that, if you, if you if you open that and read through it a little bit, you’ll find out that you are agreeing by clicking that box that you are at least 13 years of age. Let that soak in for a minute. TikTok is different. TikTok doesn’t have that. You still have to agree to the to their, to, to their terms of service. But the difference is by clicking on that box, you’re just agreeing that you’ve got your parents permission to do it. If you’re under the age of 18, you’re sort of promising that you asked Mom and Dad. I would ask, how many of you have had your kids ask you before they’re allowed to, before you agree to allow them to have that? Probably very few, but I won’t do that. The point of that is that even the developers of these platforms understand the dangers that are associated with giving our kids access to social media and the internet even too early. They’re supposed to be before they’re supposed to be at least 13 years of age. So Pastor John introduced me to this book called The Anxious Generation. It’s a great book. I know that surprises you that John would introduce somebody to a book, but he did. And, it’s by a gentleman named John Haight. And the actual the secondary title of that is this: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness. That’s intense. Right? So there’s a quote in there that says this powerful quote, the first generations of Americans who went through puberty with smartphones and the entire internet in their hands became more anxious, depressed, self-harming and suicidal. Take a look at this chart. So the title of this chart up there, you see, is major, major depression among teens. And what this shows one is that depression has always been a problem with teenagers. I didn’t need to tell you that you knew that before you walked in, but what this chart does tell you sort of show you is that something happened around the year 2010, and it wasn’t really the invention of the smartphone. the iPhone was came out in 2007. But what we see there in 2010, kind of between 2010 and 2012, is the number of sales. and really the increase in social media between that time frame, what we see there is, is the number of iPhones sold by, Apple increased significantly during that time. They went from selling about 50 million by the year 2015, they had sold 200 million a year, not total, a year. So. A result of that is represented in that chart. We see a huge significant increase in depression among teens, and it’s really correlated with the introduction and the increased use of cell phones, social media. I’m not saying those things are bad. They can be used very well. We use them. You all raised your hands. I tricked you into, you know, holding your hands up. We use those things every single day for good. But it can also be used for bad. And we’ve got to protect our kids against the bad stuff. We we we have to teach them how to use these things before we stick them in their hands. Let me show you some scripture here. Matthew chapter six. The eye is the lamp of the body. So if your eye is healthy, your whole, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light is in you, is is darkness, how great is that darkness! And then Proverbs 4:23. This is a great scripture Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. We need to teach our children, as they have the world in their hands to guard their hearts. So here’s some practical ways to do that. Before your child talks you into getting that phone. And if you have a little child, it’s soon to come. Or before they talk you into that social media account that they just have to have because everybody else has it. Pause and consider what you can do as a family to protect your children. So I’m going to give you some ideas first off. And if you if there are students in this room, you’re not going to like these by the way. And I know there are students in the room. First of all, set the tone by requiring them to give you all of their passwords. Ooh, set the tone right off the bat. You want this device? I agree, but you have to share with me all of your passwords. That’s number one. Number two is related to it. You’re the one paying for this thing anyway, right? Therefore, in setting the tone, you reserve the right to look at their phone at any time. Kids in this room are getting nervous. The third thing that I’m going to give you a piece of advice on is learn about this stuff. It’s important. It’s it’s easy as we get older to kind of back away and say, that’s technology. I don’t do technology. You can’t do that. We have to step into technology, and we have to do what we can to try to learn and be aware and know as much, try to anyway as our kids do. We’re handing them the world. We need to know what, how it works too. And then my last one is this, and I got this idea from Pastor John, who got this idea from someone else. He shared it with me and I thought it was brilliant. I never thought of this before. Your child comes to you, I need a cell phone. They give a great explanation why. You’re like, okay, what about a family cell phone? We used to have family phones all the time, right? We used to have just one phone in the house with a long extension cord. And you take that cord into your room and lock the door, you know, and you have the phone going into your room. A family cell phone. All right. You need a cell phone. Sure. We have one for the family that we share. Start with shared responsibility and accountability before you give them their their own personal, their own personal cell phone device. Practical ideas, something to try. Kids are ready to leave. All right. Number. The first point was attend. Second point was what? Protect. Last point. Teach. The Bible’s very clear about our role as adults on teaching, training, disciplining our kids. Proverbs 29, discipline your son and he will give you rest. He will give you delight to your heart. Deuteronomy chapter six. And these words that I command to you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. That’s our role as adults, that that’s that’s a charge for us that have children, that know children. We are to teach them and train them and to give them the tools as they walk by the way. What about for kids, students in this room? The Bible addresses you as well. Proverbs chapter 15, A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent. Prudent means wise. Heed your father’s instruction. And then, if you’ve been in Sunday school or life group at all, you’ve heard of Exodus chapter 20, the Ten Commandments. There’s one for us. Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land, and that the Lord your God is giving you. I’m going to come back to that one in just a second. We are to honor our parents. We are to heed their instruction as children. So there’s two ways to teach here. There’s two. There’s two aspects of teaching that I want you to think about. And these are easy for you to remember. One is if you want it, teach it. If you want your child to know or do something, you have to teach them how to do it. You have to model it. You have to show them the way. And then when they do it well, you have to encourage it. When they do it incorrectly, you have to teach it and reteach it. We can’t just expect them to know how to do things. You can’t just hand them a device and say go and do. You have to teach them how to use these things, teach them what you want. Remember Proverbs chapter 22, train up a child in the way he should go, not just shove him out of the nest and say, good luck flying. We have to teach him how to fly. Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. So point number one there under teach was if you want it, teach it. Point number two. And I love this one. I use this probably at least once a month in my work. Rules without relationships leads to rebellion. Now, I first heard that phrase here at Valley View. It was actually from behind this very podium. One of our former, one of our former pastors said it. I was sitting up there in the front row of the of of the balcony where we always sat. And I had just become a school administrator at that time. So I’m going to say it was around the year 2010. I had first heard that phrase from right here, and I’ve held on to it ever since because it’s so true. But our former pastor did not make that up. That’s actually a quote from Josh McDowell, who is a Christian author speaker, and he says it like this. Actually, young people do not respond to rules. They respond to rules in a context of a loving, intimate relationship. I use this phrase a lot in my work with with teachers and helping them to establish rapport and relationships. Sometimes I’ll say it another way, and it’s a quote that I heard from another speaker in education. Kids don’t learn from people they don’t like, and that’s true too. You have to have a relationship with your children in order for them to respect and want to do the rules. They may comply with rules, but if they don’t respect you, they have no value. The the rules have no value or meaning. You have to have a relationship with your children in order for them to value and understand the true meaning of the rules that you set in place. And you do that by spending time with them, and by teaching them and by protecting them. It is from their relationship with us that rules gain meaning and have value. Now we love this scripture, right? As parents, we love this scripture. Proverbs chapter 13. Some of you can probably just quote it to me, right? Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. That one just feels good, right? Like, oh yeah, I ain’t sparing that rod. We forget about this one though, and this scripture has a little something for everybody. Students. Ephesians chapter six. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. That’s from Exodus chapter 20. Back here in Ephesians, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with a promise that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. But hold on a minute, parents, there’s something here for us. And you fathers or mothers, do not provoke your children to wrath. And all the students in the room said, Amen. Do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in training and admonition to the Lord. It’s a great scripture. If you didn’t hear any of the other scriptures that I’ve read, mark this one. Children, obey your parents. If you want to live a long and healthy life, do not provoke our kids to anger. And all of that speaks to attending to them, being present with them. Protecting them and teaching them. Our children need our guidance, training, discipline and instruction, and we provide these through our intentional effort by attending, protecting and teaching them. So I’m going to tell a story here to wrap this up. But at this time I’m going I am, going to go ahead and dismiss deacons. Go ahead and prepare the communion. we’re going to do communion right after I tell this story. This is a great story. I think it’s a great story. I it’s a story that I have trouble telling without getting a little bit emotional. So I’m ready for that to. This is a story about our daughter Caroline. Caroline’s on the front row here. There’s also a picture of Caroline that will show on screen. So the year is, this is Caroline when she was a freshman in high school. She’s 21 now. Freshman in high school, Caroline made the varsity cross country team. She is. This is about into September. Coach tells her you made varsity. You’re going to run varsity. Congratulations. We are going on a trip up to northern Chicago, just north of Chicago, to run across to run a cross country meet. Caroline, scared to death. She’s nervous. Varsity. I didn’t know I can make varsity. So, this was a trip where I happened to be available to go. So I drove up there, drove her up there. I drove her and Lauren Brown up there, actually, in a rented Volkswagen Passat, to be exact. And it was a great trip. So we go to run that meet. That picture is about an hour before the meet. Caroline’s right. Caroline’s reaction? Relaxing. Chilling, if you will, before the meet. So Caroline is ready. She goes to the start line prior to the meet. This is an important detail. She says this dad, I just don’t want to come in last. And I’m like, you’re not going to come in last. I’ve seen. I’ve seen the people who are last. You are not them. You’ll be fine. I’m like, you don’t worry about it. So she goes to the start line. She’s nervous. She’s scared to death. And in an end, cross country meets are awesome. You all, they’re an awesome thing because you end up with this line of students, in this case, all girls. There’s like hundreds of them. And when the starting pistol goes off, they charge across this field like the beginning of a movie. Braveheart. You know, when they’re charging and they’re like, yelling and it’s great. And you can hear him stomping on the ground. It’s a fantastic scene. So I leave her at the start line of this, of this course, she’s ready and I go up the field a little bit where I can’t see the start line. I go up about 200m and I wait for the start to happen. And there’s a bunch of people, parents from all over the place. There’s a ton of people around this meet lining the course. Starting pistol goes off in a distance. I can hear it. Great. And you wait for the rumble of feet. So here they are. So here they come. And you see them coming over this ridge and its all of these girls. And it is an ocean of, you know, ponytails and sports shirts. You, I mean, just just ponytails bobbing everywhere and I’m looking. I’m trying to see her. I’m thinking about where she should be in the pack at that point. And I’m looking. I’m looking for her shoes and her shirt, and she’s like, all right. I see all the other girls on the team. Where’s Caroline? I, I guess I missed her. I guess somewhere in there I missed her. So I was just about ready to go and find her at a spot on the course when Steve Brown yells at me because he’s up a little further, he says, Troy, she’s back here. Well, by that time, everyone, all the other runners had passed. People had started to mix in the course because the parents that are there watching after the runners pass by the course disappears because parents are everywhere. But here comes Caroline holding her shoe. Crying, scared. It’s like what happened? Well, come to find out, right when the race started, she starts and one of the other girls accidentally stepped on the back of her shoe and it came off while in true calm fashion, one of my rules. When I train them up and when I teach them how to run is keep running. Don’t stop, keep your legs moving. This is what she did. Shoe came off. That’s not stopping me. I’m running this three mile race without a shoe, I don’t care. But then she realized something. The timing chip that she needed was on that shoe. So she had to stop. And she had to go back in between all the runners and find her shoe. And she found her shoe, and she looked around and the course was gone. Just parents everywhere. She’s lost. Been easy to stop at that point. You just give up because now her worst fear has come true. I’m in last place. The thing that I said could never happen. She’s in last place, but she kept moving. She grabbed her shoe and she’s just running through the crowd and she’s crying and she’s upset. So I went over to her. I said, what’s wrong? I figured it out. I said, okay, sit down. So I put on her shoe and I said, let’s go. And I didn’t know where we were going. I didn’t know the course. I’d never been there before. I said, we’ll figure it out. So I grabbed her and we started running, and I could kind of see a faint white line in the grass. So I thought, that’s got to be the line. So we’ll follow that line. So we started just running and we’re running and we’re following that line and before you know it, we’re heading into the woods and we’re just following the line. There’s no runners in sight. We’re just running. There’s somebody monitoring the course. I said, hey, which way do we go? They said, you run that way into the woods. I said, great, so we’re running in the woods and she’s she’s running along. She’s running along with me. We come out of the woods almost to the one mile mark, and I can see the last place girl. And I said, okay, that girl’s in last place. You got it. You’re not lost anymore. Go get ‘em. And she took off. And then I went and found her at a core at a spot on the course along the way, and she had moved up a little bit. She was no longer in last place. She was actually in the sort of in the race by the end of the race, when she crossed the finish line, she had passed all but one girl on her team, not in the race, but on her team. And had she had another 100 meter, she’d have passed that girl. That is a proud papa moment for me. And it’s a great end to that story, because it would have been so easy for her to just quit, give up. But the point of me telling you that story is this: one, I was there. Had I not been there, that’s a different story, right? She had it. Had I not been there and had I not been with her before that, speaking into her life, that’s a different story. So I was at a so I was attending. I was also there to protect her. Put your shoe on. Come with me. I’ll show you the way. Get out of my way. We’re running this race, people. Which way do we need to go? We’re going this way. All right. I was there to protect her. And the third thing is teach. I had taught her well along the way runningwise about how to handle tough situations. Don’t stop. Keep your legs moving. Always move forward. And that’s exactly what she did. You must be present, and you must be involved in your kid’s life in order for them to respond to tough situations. And life will be tough for them. But by attending, by protecting, and by teaching, we can equip them to be ready when their shoe comes off because it will happen. Thank you all very much.