August 24, 2025 |
Sunday Morning
Proverbs 31 | A King and His Bride
John C. Majors |
Proverbs 31
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Well,
here we are wrapping up
our series in Proverbs.
We’ve been studying Proverbs
since back in the spring,
working through chapters
and then topics,
and we’re going to wrap it up
by looking at
probably the best known
chapter in Proverbs,
especially for the women.
If you’ve been in any women’s study
at any time,
you’ve looked at the Proverbs
31 woman, the excellent wife,
it’s a familiar section
for many.
It holds up a high standard
for the Excellent Wife.
In fact, in our home,
I often refer to Julie
as a Proverbs 32 woman.
There is no chapter 32.
But what I mean by that is she excels
the Proverbs 31 woman.
She goes beyond the Proverbs 31 woman.
It’s just a way
for us to well, for me to say,
I love you.
That’s a subtle way.
I’m saying it right now
in front of everyone.
She is a great wife.
Proverbs 31.
But here’s the thing about Proverbs 31
it’s not just only the excellent wife.
In fact,
there’s a front part
to chapter 31
that I think is important
to address today
because I think the way it wraps up
the whole book of Proverbs.
In fact, if you have an outline,
you should have received one coming in.
If not, hold up
your hand will try to get you a copy.
If we have those who can hand those out.
I think the key thing to understand
about the Book of Proverbs,
and especially chapter 31,
is how it points backward and forward.
That’s what that blank on the page
there at the top of the outline,
Proverbs 31
points both backward
and forward, backward,
meaning it points
backwards across
the entire book of Proverbs.
And you’re going to see, as
we look at chapter 31,
a bunch of different themes
that came up all throughout the book.
This is almost a poetical summarization
of the Book of Proverbs,
almost personifying
a lot of the highlights of the book
all together.
So it’s pointing backwards
across the book,
but it’s also pointing forwards
to a greater reality of a truer wisdom
that none of us can attain to merely
by reading the Book of Proverbs.
And we’ll get to that.
But it’s important to understand
it’s not just only about a king,
which is the front part of the chapter.
It’s not only just
about an excellent wife,
but it’s about
a greater picture of wisdom to come.
Now, I think this is why I hope to
handle Proverbs 31
a little differently today
is because I think it
is seen in two big sections.
A section addressed to
a king in the first nine verses
and a section
addressed to the excellent wife at the end.
And I think it’s important
to see both of those together in context.
You know, much of the book of Proverbs
stands alone.
You even think of a proverb
as a short, pithy statement,
a sentence or two that stands alone.
It doesn’t have to have the verse
before it or the verse
after it to explain it.
Most of the book of Proverbs is that way,
but here at the end
we have these two long sections, nine
verses, 22 verses that fit together,
that are a longer section
that stand apart
almost from the
rest of the book of Proverbs.
That’s why we’re calling this message.
And you see here at the top Proverbs
31, A king and his bride.
Because this chapter
addresses both together.
And I think it’s helpful
to see these in context
that helps us point it forward.
So let’s first start
by talking about the King.
Look at Proverbs 31 verse one.
The words of King Lemuel,
an oracle that his mother taught him.
So we don’t know who King Lemuel was.
There’s speculation about him.
I don’t think he shows up
anywhere else in the Bible.
We’re not exactly sure who he is.
But what is interesting here
is that these are words
that are captured,
that he remembered
that his mother taught him,
which also stands
apart from the rest
of the book of Proverbs.
The first nine
chapters in particular
were often very much
so a father to his son.
My son, my son, my son.
We saw it over and over again.
Then we do also see, though,
father and mother
instructing the son together.
And now here at the end of the book,
we see words just from the mother.
Now what this hints
at is
somewhat of the life span of a king.
He starts out as a young boy in the home,
being instructed
by both father and mother.
But oftentimes
the prince becomes the king
because the father has passed on.
And now the son
who was under his mother’s
rule has now become her king, her ruler,
and her words later in
life are going to stand out
differently than they did earlier on.
You know what I’m talking about
when mom’s instructing you
as a young kid,
you’re not always listening.
But later on
you might remember back and go, Man,
she had something good to say.
These are the things
that stood out to me.
I also think this highlights
maybe some of the nature
of the relationship
that might be slightly different between
a mother and her son.
You know, a lot of times
a father might be harsher, more direct.
Of course, mothers can be, too.
I’m speaking in generalities,
but oftentimes
they may even instruct the son together.
And then later, though,
she might be able, in a tender way,
to pull him aside
and appeal to him
in a more tender fashion.
In fact,
look at some of the words
that are used here,
she says in chapter two.
What are you doing, my son?
What are you doing?
Son of my womb?
We say that differently.
Look,
I carried you around for nine months.
All that I’ve done for you.
Would you listen to what I have to say?
You have no idea how much I’ve sacrificed
for you.
Son of my womb!
What are you doing?
Son of my vows.
She is trying to get his attention.
If I have her say to one of my kids.
What are you doing?
I want them to pay attention
to what I’m about to say.
I’m trying to correct him.
It’s obvious I’m not approving
of what they’re doing.
In fact, many translate
this phrase just as listen.
Listen to what I’m about to tell you.
And she repeats it.
Listen, listen, listen.
I’m really trying to get your attention.
And she’s going to give him instruction
in three key areas.
In fact, here at the top of your notes,
three ways
a king is called to serve his people.
What she wants to do
is to make sure
he understands
that his role is different.
A king is not called to serve himself.
He’s called to serve others.
Don’t forget that.
Don’t forget your calling.
Don’t forget who you are
in the midst
of everything else
that comes with being a king.
Don’t forget
she’s appealing to his heart.
She’s appealing to him from her role
as a mother.
And those words
stuck with him
and he captured them later.
Now let’s see what
these three things are.
Three ways
a king is called to serve his people.
First,
a king is called to serve
through self-control.
Self-control.
Look at verse three
do not give strength.
Do not give your strength to women
or your ways to those who destroy kings.
The implication
being giving your strength to women
who do destroy kings.
And of course, this is a key theme.
The emphasis here is not just
general self-control,
but specifically sexual self-control.
That was a key theme
all throughout the first nine chapters.
It shows up over and over again
in the book of Proverbs,
and it’s being brought together
here, specifically emphasizing
that to the King.
Understand that your
role is
not meant to be just merely
for self gratification.
It’s meant to be about serving others,
which means you practice self-control,
especially in the area of sexuality.
Now, by the way,
this command isn’t just for kings.
This applies to all of us.
We know that the book of Proverbs
is directed at all of us,
and especially the way
this last part of the book is structured.
It’s not just only for a king
and only for a random, excellent wife.
It’s meant
to summarize all the teaching
that’s showing up.
And so we look at this
and we think,
how does this apply to us as well?
Because reality is
we all are going to struggle
in the area of sexual self-control.
But the call is not to just gratify self,
but to serve others.
This would have been
a temptation, though,
especially prominent for kings.
This happened, in fact,
when Israel said to Samuel,
we need a king.
All the other people around us
have a king.
Look how great they are.
We want to be great like them.
This upset Samuel,
God said, look,
they’re not rejecting you.
They’re rejecting me.
And Samuel gave them this warning.
Look in your notes, Samuel 8:13.
Just so you know, here’s
what a king is going to do.
Be aware you’re asking for a king.
Here’s what you’re going to get.
He will take your daughters
to be cooks and bakers and perfumers.
The text goes on.
And of course,
I think the subtlety here is
that’s not the only
reason he’s taking them.
In fact, we saw Solomon
take many, many, many wives,
even though what’s interesting,
even though the command of Scripture,
if you look at Deuteronomy
17:17 here, prior to that,
you know, a king
should not acquire many wives
for himself.
And here’s why.
It’s not just about sexual self-control.
It’s not just about what I do
with my own body.
And
what’s underneath that, what’s root
behind that, what’s core to that
is here at the rest of Deuteronomy 17:17,
he shall not acquire
many wives for himself,
lest his heart turn away.
The core issue here is not
just what I do with my body.
The core issue is a spiritual issue.
What does this do with your heart
when you reject God’s law and direction
around sexuality?
His heart will turn away.
If you continue down that path,
your heart will turn away from God.
You’ve got no other choice.
You have to block him out of your life
to continue
to ignore his law
and to just satisfy self.
And we saw that, of course, with Solomon,
of course,
the guy who
wrote much of the book of Proverbs
that we’ve been discussing,
often called one of the wisest
people to ever live. And what happened?
He ends up turning away from God
because his heart is drawn away
by the many foreign wives
that came into his life
and over time eroded his faith.
The core issue here is spiritual
leadership,
and the King is called to lead
his people spiritually,
not to just give himself
over to whatever whims he has.
And each of us,
you know, we’re called
not to just give ourselves over to
whatever we feel
we’re called to lead spiritually, to lead
whoever God has put in your life to lead,
whether that’s someone
you’re overseeing
in an area of ministry
or at work or in your family.
But that’s part of why
we practice self-control,
so that we
might point others to Christ.
So that’s the first thing she says to him
practice sexual self-control.
Second, lead with a clear mind.
Look at verse four through seven.
It is not for kings O Lemuel,
it is not for kings to drink wine,
or for rulers to take strong drink,
lest they drink and forget
what has been decreed,
and pervert the rights
of all the afflicted.
Give strong drink
to the one who is perishing,
and wine to those in bitter distress.
Let them drink and forget their poverty,
and remember their misery
no more.
Serve through self-controlled
lead with a clear mind.
Now when we talked about
we had a whole message
on self-control in Proverbs,
and we made clear that it’s not a sin.
Biblically, the Bible never says anywhere
that it’s a sin to drink alcohol.
It is a sin to be drunk.
And here the emphasis
especially is on the role of the leader.
The leader is called
to a higher standard.
The leader is called to make sure
that his mind is sharp,
his mind is clear.
His mind has not been clouded
by things like alcohol, for instance.
Again though, it’s not just for him
to make sure
he’s using self-control
just for his own means in life,
but the point is,
so that he can serve others well,
he’s called to have a clear mind,
a clear heart,
so that he might serve others well.
In fact,
one of my favorite verses
along these lines,
because it’s not just about
what we consume,
what liquid beverage
we consume,
but about everything we consume.
It’s either making your mind stronger
or clouding your mind. Everything.
First Peter four seven has been
ever since
we went through the book of first Peter.
I’ve been praying that verse
almost every morning.
God help me to be sober
minded and self-controlled for the sake
of our prayers.
I want to be in a place
where my heart and mind
are ready to pray, active in prayer,
not clouded even by all the nonsense
you can read online
or on social media,
and distracted by so many things.
Sober minded, self-controlled
for the sake of our prayers.
And this is so critical.
I really believe, and I’ve said this over
and over again, to the elders
and to the staff.
I believe.
That this church,
in the coming year.
We’re going to see God move or not,
based on how committed we are to prayer.
It’s just is the case
when revival has sprung up in the world.
It’s been out of the overflow of prayer
and the
prayer is hard, by the way.
It’s incredibly hard.
It’s one of the hardest things
you do in your spiritual life.
It’s easy to sit down
and just start reading the Bible.
Even that’s hard
sometimes,
but it’s a lot easier than praying
because our minds are so distracted.
You try to pray for a nanosecond
and you’re already thinking
about that thing
you got to do and forgot to do
and should have done,
and that thing
you suddenly have to go
look up on the internet
that you’ve never thought of before
in your life. Immediately.
Your mind’s just racing.
It’s so hard.
The health of our church
will depend on our prayers
in the coming year.
There’s no other way around it.
We’ve got to be committed to prayer,
and I think more
so even than public prayer.
Your personal prayer life,
which will increase your
intimacy with Christ,
will be one of the most powerful things
we we do to see God
move in our church in the coming year.
And what’s core to
that is that we are sober minded,
we have self-control.
We have clarity of mind that we’re able
to hear from God,
that our minds are not clouded,
our hearts not clouded by over things.
Now the third thing
he points to here
she points to is model wisdom.
So use self-control,
lead with a clear mind,
but then hear number three model wisdom.
This is verses eight through nine.
Open your mouth for the mute,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
Open your mouth.
Judge righteously.
Defend the rights of the poor
and the needy.
Capturing his mother words
twice, she says, open your mouth.
And notice the contrast.
By the way,
open your mouth for the needs of others.
Instead of opening your mouth
just to consume, drink for yourself.
You see the contrast.
The king’s temptation.
The rich, the powerful,
the temptation
is just to make it about me.
But the call is to serve.
Open your mouth for the needs of others.
Notice
the people who’s mentioned the destitute,
the poor, the needy, and we are called.
Part of our role in the church
is to stand up for those who have needs.
How can we come alongside
those who have needs?
And that’s complicated, by the way,
because not every situation
is, for instance,
just giving someone money.
Is that helping?
Sometimes that’s hurting.
It takes wisdom to know what that means
and how we come alongside them.
I get that,
but our burdens should be met.
How can we serve those in our midst
who are hurting, who are needy?
I just want to highlight
someone who’s here today,
first of all, to give
thanks and praise to God
that they’re even alive
and let alone showed up today.
I don’t know if you all
remember us talking
about how Mark Tassin was hit by a car.
Well, he’s able to be here today
and they’re sitting in the back.
Back here?
Huge praise.
Huge praise that I’m.
I’m telling you,
even that he is alive, hit by a car.
Not just alive.
Now functioning.
Learning to walk again
if you talk to Mark is the same old Mark.
And.
But I’ve watched years of the
encouraging thing.
They’ve had some significant needs
as a result, as you can imagine.
And some in the church
have stepped up to come alongside them
and help them
to come alongside the needy.
We all have seasons,
sometimes needy, sometimes not.
We want to be a church
that’s poured into the lives of others
and helping them with their needs
in times of need.
That’s the call
to the King here, to the leader.
Wisdom. Model wisdom.
Now,
the reason I use the word wisdom here
is because in order for us, for us
to serve the needy,
to serve the needs of the church,
to serve the community
that requires great wisdom.
And here’s one thing
that’s interesting about Solomon
when he prayed.
He’s famous
for having prayed for wisdom, mean
he could have gotten riches,
and he prayed for wisdom,
and he got riches along with that.
But notice his prayer.
It’s often forgotten.
When he prayed specifically,
he just didn’t pray.
He didn’t pray just for general wisdom.
God, would you just give me some wisdom?
I could use some wisdom.
Look here at verse
1 Kings 3:9
here in your notes.
Here’s what he prayed.
Specifically,
give your servant an understanding mind
to govern your people,
that I may discern between good and evil.
For who is able to govern this
your great people?
He prayed specifically
for wisdom
to govern the people
that God had put him over.
It wasn’t just make me
look wise
so people will know
that I’m a wise person.
No, no, no,
he wanted wisdom to guide,
to lead, to govern.
And of course we know
his heart was led astray.
But at the core of his burden
to begin with.
God, would you give me wisdom to serve?
Now that’s the opening of this chapter,
which summarizes
many of the themes
we’ve seen in Proverbs.
But it starts
with the command to the King.
And I think this is important
to set the context,
because an excellent wife
can’t be an excellent
wife without a husband.
You can’t define wife apart
from husband, by the way.
You can’t define husband apart from wife.
Just try to.
There’s no way to do it.
They go together
so we don’t just look at one
standing alone.
We look at how they are linked together.
And I don’t think it’s any coincidence
that what comes right
after a mother’s instruction to her king.
Now, whether she’s still
writing this or not, we can’t be sure.
But whoever compiled
the book of Proverbs saw
you know what he needs to know next.
He needs to know what it means
to have an excellent wife.
He’d better have a good woman
alongside of him
if he wants to be successful.
And so that’s just the context for how we
look at the excellent wife.
A king who serves
a king who is about serving alongside him
is an excellent wife.
Now let’s look at
what an excellent wife is.
If you look here in 31,
verse ten, look
first at what it says in verse ten,
an excellent wife
who can find she is far more precious
than jewels.
The first reality.
The first question here is
who can find an excellent wife?
It can be hard to find an excellent
spouse.
When I’ve talked
with singles over the years,
Julie and I served in college ministry
for a while.
That’s one of the things
that often comes up,
hey, what are you looking for
in a future spouse?
They’re asking us,
how do you find the right person?
What do you do?
One thing I noticed
is that people who seem to do
well on that journey often
have some kind of list.
They’ve made a list of.
These are the things I’m
looking for in a person.
Now, some of those are written down,
some aren’t.
I don’t think it matters that much
if it’s written down or not.
One thing though,
you should have in your mind
and set in your heart, is to know
these are things that are essential
to someone I’m going to marry
now you need to have an essential list.
You need to have
maybe a compromisable list.
I remember one girl
telling me
I’ll never marry a man
who wears a watch on his right wrist,
wrist, wrist. Have you say that?
And I actually,
I don’t remember if it was right or left.
Whatever. She had one.
If he has a watch on the wrong hand.
I’d never marry a person like that.
And I thought,
aren’t you even going to look at
what kind of watch it is
at least? You know,
that might change the conversation.
That’s a nice Rolex.
You know what? I’m okay with that.
Well, let’s talk.
Maybe I can get you to move it
over to the other hand.
No, there’s some things on that list
that we go, okay, that’s a negotiable.
That didn’t have to be at the top.
Christian
kind, funny, easy to get along with.
Caring.
Like these things
are the things that go up at the
top of the list.
Here’s what’s interesting about
Excellent Wife.
This is kind of a list in a sense,
but it’s not just here’s
exactly what I need.
It’s more of like a poem of praise.
And here’s how we know this.
This is actually there’s 22 verses.
There’s 22
letters in the Hebrew alphabet.
Each verse starts
with, in consecutive order,
each letter of the Hebrew alphabet.
So it’s almost like an acrostic poem.
A you’re adorable
all the way down through Z.
You’re a I don’t know what zebra.
What do you say about Z?
Zucchini I don’t
none of them are good anyway.
Did you see that?
A to Z, you’re the best.
It’s not about even
then if you do that, you’re not.
Meaning each
one of these are specifically
what I was looking for.
You just mean you’re
you’re the best ever.
Comprehensively A
to Z from beginning to end.
And so even though this list
isn’t comprehensive,
it doesn’t cover
so much of what it means to be a spouse.
It’s meant to say,
I can’t praise you enough
for your excellence.
Now notice where it starts though.
Let’s look back at verse ten,
because here in your notes
there’s two four characteristics
of an excellent wife.
First, is she is rare,
an excellent
wife who can find
all the time.
When we were talking with those college
students, people would say,
and even if you’re single,
you know, you’ve you’ve said it.
Where are the good men?
Where are the good women?
Where do I find them?
The excellent wife is not standing on
every street corner out there.
She’s probably not
standing on any street corner.
That doesn’t sound right.
She,
You know what I mean?
They’re not everywhere.
They’re not easy to find.
They.
Bring it back in.
Okay?
They’re not easy to find.
The rare, the quality person.
And here’s the quality,
the definition of quality here.
It ends up at the end.
Chapter 30 or verse 30.
Charm is deceitful, beauty is vain.
But a woman who fears
the Lord is to be praised.
You wonder who an excellent wife is.
The summation of excellency,
the summation of wisdom,
a woman who fears the Lord.
It’s how the book began
in chapter one, verse seven.
Fear the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
Beginning of knowledge.
How did you find that?
That’s rare.
The book acknowledges that.
Second, though, look here.
Number two.
She’s rare.
She’s also valuable.
An excellent wife who can find.
She is far more precious than jewels,
far more precious than jewels.
And someone pointed out to me,
one of our students
was wearing a hat that said,
if you’re rich, I’m single,
right?
Which is funny,
but yet it’s also tragic
because I’ve known people
who got married for that reason.
And let me tell you
that no amount of money
makes up for someone who is cruel,
untrustworthy, demeaning,
hard to be around, no amount of money
ever makes up for that.
She, the excellent wife.
The God fearing wife
is far more valuable
than any amount of money
you could ever imagine.
And so to have
that as the priority, rare, valuable.
And don’t let that person slip away.
I remember my dad telling the story of,
you know, he and mom
met actually in high school,
and they both went off
to separate colleges
and they were kind of
on again, off again.
And then one night it just hit him.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Are you going to let her slip away?
Are you just going to let some other dude
off at another college sweep her up?
What are you doing?
And he said it was like a sweat panic.
He’s like, I gotta do something.
He hopped in his car and drove
right to her and said, look,
we got to get married.
I can’t let I.
You’re the one for me.
He didn’t. Wait a second.
Mom probably thinks,
yeah, he waited a little
too long, actually. Right.
Valuable.
Rare.
When you find that person, don’t wait.
It’s not a game.
Don’t just play around.
Now,
I think there’s two big categories
that make up
the rest of the book
that describe two things
in particular about an excellent wife.
First, notice in these first
group of verses, verses 13 through 22,
she is active in her serving.
The king is called to serve
his wife alongside
him is called to serve.
She is active in her serving.
And let me say on the front end of this,
by the way,
I called Shannon Hampshire,
texted Shannon Hampshire and asked her,
hey, she’s
one of the leaders
in our women’s ministry.
I’m sure you’ve taught this a lot.
What do you want
women,
make sure women hear about Proverbs 31?
And she’s like, it’s overwhelming.
A lot of
women read it
and walk away going, I can’t do all that.
Whoever can measure up to that?
Okay. Fair enough.
It does feel that way.
I’m going to talk about
I think that’s on purpose, by the way.
I’m going to talk about why that is.
Keep that in mind as we read this.
There’s a lot here.
But yet also
there’s a lot
that we should be inspired by.
Okay.
Verse 13 through 22,
she is active in her service.
Let’s just read through those.
She seeks wool and flax and works
with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant.
She brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night,
and provides food
for her household
and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it
with the fruit of her hands.
She plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength,
makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her
merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hand to the distaff.
Her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor,
reaches out her hands to the needy.
She’s not afraid of snow.
For her household,
for all her household are clothed
in scarlet.
She makes bed coverings for herself.
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
She is active and her serving.
In fact,
as you’re looking at that
chapter, is just one action verb
after another, one after another.
She makes,
she seeks, she rises.
She considers,
she dresses, she perceives,
she puts her hands on the hold of things.
She opens her hands. She reaches.
She’s not afraid.
She makes action, action, action acting.
She’s active in her serving.
And I’m just going to point out
a couple of ways specifically here.
She’s active in her serving.
Look at verse 13.
I think here we can
say she’s intentional.
She seeks wool and flax.
She’s proactive.
She doesn’t just wait around for others
to bring her what she needs.
She goes after it.
She seeks it out. She finds it.
Be proactive in your service.
Also, though, I love that
it says
she works with willing hands,
she’s not begrudging
who likes to be around that person?
Well, I guess I have to do this for you.
No, it’s a willingness, it’s a joy.
It’s a delight
to serve a proactive in this.
She’s intentional. Also look at verse 16.
She considers a field and buys it
with the fruit of her hands.
She plants a vineyard.
She is thoughtful.
She considers a field and buys it.
She’s thoughtful and she’s empowered.
Her husband’s not micromanaging
everything she does.
He has entrusted things to her to manage.
He trusts her.
In fact, look at verse 11.
It says that specifically,
the heart of her husband trusts in her
and he will have no lack of gain.
And I just want to give
a word of encouragement
to many of the men in the room.
Some of us can be kind of controlling,
whether it’s with possessions or money.
I’ve seen it time and again.
I say kind of controlling.
Some can be control freaks.
There’s a maybe a spectrum of control.
You’ve got to learn
how to let go of some
things and trust your spouse.
Women.
I’m also talking to some of you.
I don’t have anybody
in particular in mind.
But you know,
some of us on
both sides can be control freaks.
Now, the other side of that is that
we need to
be a good steward of that trust.
And she clearly here
has been a good steward of that.
He can trust her.
She has kept him in the loop
on her decisions.
So she’s not just off running and doing
whatever she wants willy nilly again,
not just for herself.
Part of the picture of the Proverbs
31 woman
is that she is ultimately focused
on serving her family.
But there’s something about
being a good steward of the trust
you’ve been given.
Julie has entrusted me
with the finances of our home,
but I’m
consistently, regularly informing her
I have a binder with everything
printed out in it.
Here’s the bank information.
Here’s the mortgage information,
here’s the insurance information.
Here’s the retirement information.
Here’s all the login codes.
Here’s the college savings information.
And you can go look at it any time.
And you can go log in
and see if what I printed out
is true or not,
or if it’s different online.
And you could ask me about it.
And of course, anybody,
if they work hard enough can hide stuff.
But hopefully you’re developing a life
that is an open book and fostering trust
and make sure they know I’m not.
I’m not trying to hide anything from you.
I want to have your trust fully.
I don’t want to give you
any reason to doubt.
She’s intentional along those lines.
She’s thoughtful. Verse 19.
She’s industrious.
She puts her hand to the distaff.
Her hand holds the spindle.
I love all throughout here
she’s developing all kinds of skills.
She’s continuing to grow as a person.
She’s industrious.
Verse 20, she’s generous.
She opens her hand to the poor,
reaches out her hands to the needy.
This was a hard one for me,
when we first married.
Because Julie loves to cook.
She’s a great cook,
and she would cook an amazing meal,
and there’d be this huge
amount left over,
and I thought, I’m
going to get to eat on this for days,
and then I’ll watch
all these little dishes
go out the door to other people.
And I’m like,
whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa,
where are you going with that?
That was really good.
And she’s like, be quiet.
I’ll make more.
This is for other people.
I didn’t make it only for you.
There’s other people than you, John,
in this world who need food, too.
She’s generous.
She’s thinking of
others, not just herself.
Out of the
overflow of the heart,
she’s able to bless others as well.
She’s generous.
And then verse 21, she’s prepared.
She is not afraid of snow
for her household,
for all her household are clothed
in scarlet.
And that’s often translated as double
layered, double clothed.
There’s different ways
to translate that word.
The point being, they’re ready for
what’s coming.
She’s thought ahead. The winter’s coming.
I know they’re ready.
I don’t have anything to worry about
because we’re prepared.
That’s focused on her active service.
That’s the first half,
I think, of the excellent woman.
The second half, though,
I think is focused on her inward
life, her character.
In fact,
that’s the blank there on number four.
She’s intentional to grow in character.
Verse 24 through 27.
She makes linen garments, sells them.
She delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing.
She laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness
is on her tongue.
She looks
well to the ways of her household,
does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children
rise up and call her blessed.
Her husband also he praises her.
Many women have done excellently,
but you surpassed them all.
Look here at just a couple of instances.
Verse 25 A
in her character
she grows in strength and dignity.
Verse 25,
strength and dignity are her clothing.
She carries herself with strength
and dignity,
not in a demeaning, top down,
abrasive way, but with kindness.
But it’s clear
she’s depending on the Lord, not herself.
For her strength and dignity.
Also in verse
25, be she’s content in spirit.
I love this phrase.
She laughs at the time to come.
She laughs
at the future.
Many now
in our time,
when they think about the future,
it’s not laughter, it’s fear,
anxiety, tears.
Worry.
And this isn’t a flippant laughter,
it’s a joy.
I don’t have to worry about the future.
I’m ready.
And even if things don’t go
the way I thought, God’s in control.
It’s a dependance on him.
It’s a contentedness
in spirit, a godly contentment
that I think we all want.
That’s growth and character.
And then lastly, she’s full of wisdom.
Look at verse 26.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness
is on her tongue.
She’s full of wisdom,
and she’s
pouring it out into the lives of others
and true deep wisdom.
It doesn’t come easy.
It doesn’t come fast.
That’s come from a life
dedicated to growing in character.
Now, I said at the beginning, Proverbs
points backwards
and it also points forward.
It points backwards
across the whole book of Proverbs,
but it also points forward
to a truer wisdom.
In fact, in the English Bible, the
the book of the Bible that comes
right after this is Ecclesiastes.
But in the Hebrew Bible,
in many of the early versions,
it was the book of Ruth,
an excellent wife who can find.
You want to know
what an excellent wife looks like?
You want to know what an excellent woman
looks like?
Here you go, Ruth.
And there’s so many parallels,
by the way,
from the story of Ruth
and the Proverbs 31 woman.
She’s even called an excellent
or worthy woman in chapter
three, verse 11, you.
The same wording is used,
things that are similar.
In fact, her husband sits at the gates.
Look at verse 23 of Proverbs 31.
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among
the elders of the land.
Boaz sat at the gates.
And this isn’t some passive mingling,
sitting around doing nothing.
That is a measure
at the time
that would have been known
as this is where
leading is done in the city.
This is where the elders, the rulers,
the leaders gather,
make decisions, govern the city, he said.
At the gates was respected, was known.
But here’s what this points forward to.
Even more so than just an example.
And Ruth and her husband Boaz.
And there’s similarities.
And she lived like a Proverbs 31 woman.
What this points forward to even greater
was their descendant.
And if you read in Matthew one,
Ruth is mentioned
in the lineage of Jesus.
And part
of the reason it’s
okay that this is overwhelming.
It’s okay
that Proverbs 31 is overwhelming
to both the men and the women.
It’s okay that you go,
I can’t live up to that standard
because we’re not meant to.
It’s not possible.
You can’t possibly live
up to the standard of the Old Testament,
and you’re not meant to.
What we need is someone else to come
and be the perfect king
that none of us have ever seen,
and be the perfect bride and shape
and redeem the perfect bride
that none of us have ever been.
And that’s King
Jesus and His bride, the church.
And one day he’s going to come back
for all of us.
He’s going to come back
as the perfect king.
That’s who were longing for.
That’s where true wisdom is.
And that’s why we turn to his word
over and over again.
That’s why
we’ve been in the book of Proverbs
seeking wisdom.
But we’re looking to him
more and more for wisdom above all else.
He is the one that we look forward to.
He is the one that true
wisdom is found in,
and he’s the one that today
we’re going to remember.
In fact,
we’re going to end our service
by taking communion together.
